this is a journal of a lot of things. real life, fandom, the good and the bad. i don't filter, save on rare, rare occasions. it's pretty much an open book.

i post fanfic, fanart, and original art, i babble on incessantly about the strangest things, and tend to obsess over a lot of things.

no need to ask to friend, just go ahead and i'll most likely friend back. i've got a pretty laid back view of the whole thing, but i do read all the entries on my friends page.

as for what's posted here, i've created a rudimentary list to tags. it'll probably be updated later.

Challenges
     fanart50 - Prompt Table
     spn13 - Prompt Table
     un_love_you - Prompt Table
     spn_j2_bigbang - SPN/J² Big Bang 2008


Fic
     Supernatural
     J²
     Harry Potter
     House, MD

Fanart
     Supernatural
     Harry Potter
     West Wing
     Mercedes Lackey

Original Art

"Watson, my tongue is going numb, and then I'll be of no use to you at all."

that's all i'm saying.

(oh, and happy holiday... things. hope yours don't suck, too)

i has snowflakes!

and i've also realised how long it's been since i've posted fic. and that makes me sad. but open office is up, there's words down, and my faithful crack!wife cenori poking my brain repeatedly. so soon it shall be.

i don't talk much any more. not in journals, not to people. it's okay. there's not much to say that hasn't been said. and the rest, well. the rest is my own. the people who know of my past lived it with me. the people who know wolf need no explanation. i don't talk gender/sexuality with anyone because it doesn't matter (the people who get it, get it, those that don't never will).

what's left? movies? books? (although on that note, will someone please keep Stephanie Meyer away from a typewriter? i mean, honestly, i did it to myself, and i've no right to complain about not getting those hours of my life back. plus i laughed. a lot. but seriously. and fire her editor, too.) not many people enjoy the same things i do. get back to me after you watch Dead Man.

but, i miss writing in general. a lot. i just have to get to the point that i can forgive the written language for being so useless and just do it anyway. go for a 'that's as close as it's going to get' instead of spot on.

but, i ramble.

mostly, i wanted to thank people for the snowflakes :)

ETA: the reason i even read through 'Twilight' in the first place was because of digg.com. one of their 'top in 24 hours' last week was this website, and when it's not down because of massive traffic, it's the most horrifying, yet hilarious thing i've found in years. enjoy.

i have a 12-13 hour drive coming up this weekend when i head out to see A. i need to make an mp3 mix cd (or two) to last me the trip (and back).

so! i want recommendations of stuff to put on there.

i've got stuff already that's definitely going to be included. Pearl Jam, Rammstien, Tool, VNV Nation, AC/DC, Counting Crows, Radiohead, etc. so if you have any suggestions, toss me a band name, or a short list of songs, or some links. whatever works.

i needs teh musics.

nicked outright from cenori. jesus, i need something else to do today before work.

Instructions: Open up your iTunes and fill out this survey, no matter how embarrassing the responses might be.

How many songs total: 9497
How many hours or days of music: 26.7 days
Most recently played: Psyclon Nine - "Divine Infekt"
Most played: The Cranberries - "Zombie"
Most recently added: Rammstein - "Ich Will"

Sort by song title:
First song: NOFX - "A200 Club"
Last song: Tom Waits - "9th and Hennepin"

Sort by time:
Shortest song: NOFX - "F**k the Kids II"
Longest song: Godspeed You Black Emperor - "Providence"

Sort by album:
First album: The Beatles - Abbey Road
Last album: Sigur Ros - ()

First song that comes up on Shuffle: Nirvana - Oh Me

Search the following and state how many songs come up:
Death: 97
Life: 86
Love: 390
Hate: 31
You: 840
Sex: 6

so.

while i pretty much want to flip a giant bird to almost everyone i've ever helped in my life when i was able and mysteriously disappeared when i needed it (don't worry, if you're reading this it's almost definitely NOT you, because i would have removed you from my list a long time ago. then again this isn't locked. but you know what i mean) -- things have somewhat sorted themselves out. to those of you who wanted to help/tried to help/did help, i <3 you.

(ETA: hah. apparently i fail at removing people i should have. teach me to pay attention, yeah? *snrks* but seriously. get a life. i mean, really. wait.. i take back the seriously; i don't want to get your hopes up, and the entertainment value is far too high)

as for the fire, no, insurance was still not too keen to pay; also, the surge protector was so damaged (think burnt-out shell of melty plastic and wire) that i couldn't tell what brand it was, nor could i remember :/ sucks, really, might have helped a lot). i've done a little more cleaning up and found i'd lost less dvds than i thought, and that doesn't really bother me much. most of my shit i've ripped onto my pc already. the clothes situation is a little dodgy, but i'm getting by. still need to get some more trousers, though. ><

we've got plenty of spare bits to rebuild the wall on that side. oddly enough the floor was remarkably fire resistant o_O i mean it's kind of waxy weird now in spots but it didn't actually burn. .. i'm kind of afraid.

then my car died. not entirely, but it was on its way to a complete and utter choking death within ... well. honestly it almost croaked on the way to the last dealership saturday.

i had started saving about 3 months ago, popping away every dollar i could and taking more money out of my pay check before taxes. i had planned to have about $3000 next summer sometime after saving and tax return to by something shitty.

this is where it gets completely unexpected.

my dad tracks me down the other night and says they want to help now, rather than me wait for a year with no reliable transport save for snagging people's unused cars at unreliable times of the day. so they loaned me about what i'll get from my tax return, and i shuffled off with that plus the stuff i'd saved already and tried to find the best deal on a cheap but reliable car that i wouldn't absolutely hate having for several (many) years.

long story short, we hit up a kia dealership. i know, kia, right? but they're actually pretty reliable now, have decent warranties, and the forte was coming out and started at a pretty low msrp (meaning, hey, haggle, yeah? if there's one thing i know how to do, it's haggle cars). longer story a little shorter, they tried to rip me off. surprise, right? not really. except that's probably the most anyone's tried to rip me off.

after more calls and more 'no way i can do that' results, i give up and think i might as well call the honda dealership i know, we HAVE gotten 3 cars from a guy there, maybe that'll count for something for a low end civic. well, my guy, Patrick (awesome Irish bloke withthe whitest hair you've ever seen despite the fact he's like, 40something), isn't in sales anymore. ehh... wth. i talk to someone. they say they have some manual tranny civics in stock. we go over. they don't.

guy: how about an automatic if it's the same price?
me: no.
guy: really?
me: really. no.
guy: how about an accord for the same price?
me: maybe.

70 minutes later, after a search of four surrounding states, apparently there exist no manual civics or accord dx, lx or ex's. at all.

guy: what about a Fit?
me: *gag*

guy disappears again. comes back five minutes later.

guy: what if i could get you in an Si for that same price?
me: *anuerysm* *brain reboot* ... i'm sorry?

okay that was longer than i intended.

but i got an Si.
for the price.
of a fucking Dx.
on lease to buy so low payments thankfully, and insurance is almost the same as for my buick. o_O

but.

I GOT A FUCKING CIVIC SI.
( WHAT. THE FUCK. (picspam) )

now, this is all possible only because of the new 'school loan repayment based on income' thing that started a couple months ago. my payments are now $0, which freed up just about the same amount as the car payment.

now, if i could just get my computer reliable again, i'd be set. it's not awful though, so i'm not complaining, and a family friend may be able to help with some testing/spare bits for the one bollocksed in the power surge.

so, thanks for all the support and everything. came through okay (always do i guess), just a little inconvenienced. and apparently a lot lucky o_O i'ma go keep making this face for a while. o_O seriously. o_O

i swear, if i hear it called Gender Identity Disorder one more time, i'ma punch someone in the head.

really.

i think i'm going to see Bob Dylan in July. o_O

!!

i missed Leonard Cohen. he was in town and i didn't even know. not that i could have gone, really, but, who knows. damnit. :(

and Andrew is coming in a little over a week and i still haven't cleaned. D:
i blame him for keeping me up until 6am watching shows. >.>

and i owe people comments and emails. ><

and i need to finish my fic. :o

and i am going to keep ending each thought with a facey emoticon! vo_ov (<-- i did not just make a sad kitty!druid face. damn you, WoW.)

soooo, i finally stumbled across this here little gem that made me squee with joy. even if i can't find an actual premiere date for it (anyone know? hunh? hunh hunh hunh?)

if you haven't seen it yet, the preview for Torchwood Series Three: Children of Earth under the cut. how much do i love this preview around 0:55 or so? TOO MUCH I THINK.

( Read more... )

i know i've said this about a hundred times before, but fuck you, Grey's. fuck. you.

in my own defence, this new fic was totally PG, only featherjournals kept saying 'less PG more R!' so just, you know. when i finally finish it. blame her.

also:

me: you're going to see Wolverine with me, right?
mum (not really paying attention): hunh?
me: you know, epic love story between Wolverine and Sabretooth.
mum: who the hell is Sabretooth?
me: his sort of but not actual brother.
mum: damn straight i'm there.

...

what have i done to this poor woman.

so, my mother joined me late into yesterday's LotR marathon. about halfway through RotK. weirdness ensued.

after the scenes at Dunharrow when Eowyn is going on about, 'Why can't Merry fight?' yadda yadda to Eomer, and then that whole thing with Aragorn when he says 'I can't give you what you seek'.

Mum: But that other guy likes her, you know, the blond guy.
Me: What blonde guy? She hasn't even met Faramir yet, and he's not.. blond.
Mum: No, that guy she was just arguing with about getting to fight.
Me: *blinks* That's her brother, and this is not an episode of Supernatural!
Mum: DAMNIT.

///

Scene where Pippin finds Merry all battered after the battle.

Mum: Oh hey, are we going to have some Sam on Dean action here?!
Me: What the FUCK?! They're not even related! (forgot they were cousins, fail)
Mum: They're Hobbit related! That's enough!


also, she's started calling people douchebags.
she's totally made of win.

okay.

what the fuck is with all my shows killing off people i care about? this isn't fucking funny.

SPOILERS IN COMMENTS.

so, i has music for joo.

you know, to make up for the rapidly sinking fail!boat that was the last post. although perhaps not quite so fail as Aidas Shadowstepping Al'ar, or ravnos_ravenous auto-running into Void Reaver last year. or, you know. Niel. being Niel. sense of humour still intact.

stuff you may or may not have ever heard before. i'm leaning toward 'may not'.

Moonspell - Wolfshade (A Werewolf Masquerade) - Portuguese gothic black metal anyone? rediscovered them after years when i was going through old boxes of CDs earlier. still a theme songof sorts. still.

( lyrics )

Amon Tobin - Deo - beautiful trip-hop/electronic instrumental. thing. yes.

Raising the Titanic (Aphex Twin Remix) - Gavin Bryars - also a beautiful piece. i'm hunting down the original, which hasn't been underlaid with the downbeat drum'n'bass, since i seem to have accidentally lost it while moving my itunes library.

._.

enjoy. >

insomnia (again), sitting up watching whatever i can rummage up on the DVR. Alona Tal is in last night's ep of The Mentalist, and i'm reminded how much i really miss the Harvelles in SPN. Especially Ellen. Ellen kicked some majour ass.

seriously, guys, what the hell happened to good female characters on Show? this season's Ruby just kind of depresses me. it's bad enough i can't even muster up the care to hate her.

remind me never to answer when the doorbell rings. i just got into a lovely debate with a Jehova's Witness (so, tell me, doesn't recruiting members lower your chances for one of those 144,000 seats in heaven?)

i'm sort of up and around. went to work last night even though i shouldn't have. still need to catch up on comments but for now i'm passing out again.

already kind of been through one, but i'm officially taking a hiatus through the middle of January. too much going on for the holidays and whatnot, and thinking about writing is making me want to do it less.

i'll be back, i've only been on this thing for nine bloody years. yikes.

so, i haven't really had my PC for the better part of the week. someone used it while i was on holiday, and i came back to a frightening number of trojans, viruses and keyloggers. efforts to remove them all via various freeware programs failed, and i'd gotten a vista ultimate disk from someone and figured, hey, directx 10, why not. install failed, hardcore. i won't go into what i did to try to get it to work, suffice it to say it was ugly. and included wiping my drive without thinking to back up a few key things. like bookmarks and ventrilo settings. at least i got my WTF and Addons folder from WoW. >.>

so, XP reinstall ftl.

i'm trying to reinstall trillian, but i can't remember any of my account passwords or my ICQ numbers. fail.

ehh.

SPN has been pissing me off lately, hence a chunk of reason for my lack of fandom participation.

seriously Sam. DEMON INFESTED CORPSE. and Dean apparently has no problem with this. also Ruby needs to diaf already.

i'm too tired to think about that at the moment. time to go faceplant and pretend i can sleep. catch up on comments tomorrow.

ETA: jesus christ, in addition to IMing two people on wrong accounts before i left, i also wrote two emails and hit Ctrl+S, for some reason thinking that was 'Send' when it was saving the draft. THE HELL, BRAIN.

i will never fly United again. explanation later, but for now i pass out.

also, it's important to note that if you ever IM me from more than one screenname, i can only hope you check them BOTH on a regular basis because at some point i will inevitably send you an important IM on what might be considered the 'wrong one'.

*makes with the faceplanting*

so apparently Indianapolis airport has free wifi. my first flight has been bollocksed up and pushed back so that i may or may not make my connecting flight home. the airline is adamant i will, but their own website gives an arrival time that differs by 30 minutes from what they're telling me verbally.

if i didn't have dogs, i wouldn't be going home.

jeremy taught me about fake people. fabien taught me about selfish people. andrew has taught me about real, selfless people. and reminded me i deserve better than people who lie and cheat, people who use me, people who show no patience and refuse to see me as a person rather than someone to give them whatever they want whenever the fuck they want it.

i don't want to leave. i didn't expect to like it out here as much as i did, which makes it even harder.

i can't remember the last time i went out for the night and asked for a table for TEN at a restaurant. i've met half my WoW guild out here, and screw the game, even if i didn't play it wouldn't be any different.

also, i got to go to the original Burger King, which is only about a mile from his place. what this means is there is no chain Burger Kings within a 50 mile radius. i only had ice cream but damn was it good.

on the downside, Biscuit has stolen the beanie i stole from Andrew and will not give it up. he is now a "gangsta" and his new name is B-Sket, and i'm fairly sure if i don't figure out what his gang sign is, he's going to kill me while i sleep.

there's a lot to work out this week. plane is boarding and i get to see if i'm going to be completely screwed getting home tonight. lets hope B-Sket doesn't mistake any flight attendant movements for hostile gang signs. o_O